Spiritual Direction in English, Wherever You Live

Most people look for a spiritual director in the language they pray in. That is not always possible. You may live in a country whose Church has few trained directors, or you may have moved somewhere your mother tongue is spoken by nobody near you. Direction in English is a real option, and it asks less of your English than you probably fear.

Who Ends Up Looking for Direction in English

A nurse from Manila working in Doha prays in Tagalog and English and finds no director who speaks either one well. A Brazilian family in Dublin has children in Irish schools and a mother who wants to talk about God in Portuguese, but the parish has one priest for four thousand people. An exchange student in Krakow can manage daily life in Polish and cannot manage the inside of her own soul in it yet.

Then there is the bilingual marriage. One half prays in English and the other in Vietnamese, and the couple agrees that the English speaker should have a director who understands the words she argues in. There is also the Catholic in a country where the diocese has almost no trained directors at all, and the man who left Manchester twenty years ago and still thinks about God in English, even though he has not lived there since.

None of these people are unusual. They are the ordinary reason online direction in English exists.

Why the Language Matters More Than People Expect

You are honest in the tongue you argue in. When you describe an interior movement, half of the work is finding the exact word for something you have never said out loud. Is it fear, or is it grief that has gone cold? Is it peace, or is it relief that you no longer have to try? English may give you that word, or it may not, and a director who shares your language can hear the difference without asking.

But do not overstate it. Grace does not need a wide vocabulary. A person with six hundred words of English can make a good confession and a good hour of direction, because God is not waiting for the subjunctive.

What does close the door on honesty is a translator in the room. A spouse who listens, a friend who interprets, a parent on the other side of the table: all of them are kind and all of them change what you are willing to say. Direction needs a room where nobody you love can hear you.

How Good Your English Actually Has to Be

Here is a practical bar. You need enough English to describe a situation in five sentences. You need to be able to say three things: I do not know. Say that again. That is not what I meant. If you can do that, you can do a session.

Idioms do not matter. Speed does not matter. A good director slows down for you, repeats the question in simpler words, and waits while you build the sentence. The directors who work in English with non-native speakers do this every week and are not impatient about it.

Write three lines before the call. One line on what happened, one on what you felt, one on what you want to ask. Writing gives you time your mouth does not have, and you can read the lines aloud if you freeze. Nobody will think less of you for reading.

The Words You Will Hear in an English Session

Consolation and desolation are the two directions of the heart. Consolation is when prayer leaves you with peace, or tears that soften you, or a pull toward faith, hope, or love. Desolation is the opposite movement: dryness, agitation, a turning inward. A director asks which one you are in because the answer changes the advice.

Attachment is anything you hold so tightly that you cannot say yes to God without first negotiating. It can be a person, a plan, a reputation. The word comes up when you keep circling the same fear.

The examen is a short prayer at the end of the day, five or ten minutes, in which you look back and ask where you felt drawn to God and where you pulled away. Directors suggest it early, often in the first month.

Discernment is the work of choosing between two good things, or between a good thing and a quieter one. A director uses the word when you are deciding about a job, a move, or a relationship.

Dryness means prayer with no feeling in it. It is not a sin and it is not a sign that you have done something wrong. Scruples are the opposite trouble: a conscience that sees sin where there is none. Both words come up, and both are treatable.

Recollection is the habit of coming back to God during the day, a short turn of the heart while you wait for a bus. A director mentions it when your prayer is fine on Sunday and absent by Wednesday.

How an Online Session in English Runs

The hour has a shape. It opens with a short prayer, often just a line and a moment of quiet. Then you bring one situation or one question, not the whole of your life. The director listens and asks a question back. Silence in the middle is normal and is not a failure on your part; it is often where the useful work happens.

Near the end you will be offered a line or two to carry into the week. It might be a verse, a small practice, or a question to sit with. Write it down before you close the laptop.

Most directors offer a trial of three meetings. That gives you both enough to know whether it works. After each session, write two sentences: what struck you, and what you want to bring next time. Those two sentences will carry more than you expect.

Time Zones, Payments and the Practical Side

Agree whose clock you are using before the first call. Say the city, not just the hour, and confirm it in writing. The mistakes here are ordinary and embarrassing, and one email prevents them.

Payment is usually by card in dollars or euros. Trained lay directors commonly charge between forty and ninety dollars for an hour, less outside the United States and Western Europe. Parish priests and religious often ask for nothing, or a free will offering. Ask about the fee in your first message so it never becomes awkward later.

Ask how to cancel. A director who works online has a simple rule, usually twenty-four hours, and will tell you without annoyance. Missing a session once is human. Disappearing is the thing to avoid.

Finding a Director Who Works in English

Start with the English-speaking parish or chaplaincy in your city. Many exist for migrants and students, and the priest there knows who directs people and who is trained. If there is none, call the diocesan office and ask for the person who coordinates spiritual direction; every diocese has someone, even if the answer takes a week.

Next, international religious houses. Communities that run retreats in English usually keep a list of directors, and they will tell you who is taking new people. Formation programs that train directors publish their graduates, and a recent graduate is often glad of a first directee under supervision.

Online directories exist, and this site is one of them. Before you commit, read the guide on how to find a spiritual director. It lists the questions to ask: training, supervision, frequency, fee, and whether the person has ever directed someone in your situation. Ask them all in the first email.

If You Would Rather Meet in Your Own Language

Direction in your first language is usually better when it is available. You are more exact when you are tired, and shame is easier to name in the tongue you learned it in. English is better than nothing, and better than a director who does not listen, but it is not the first choice if a trained director in your language lives within reach or on a screen.

This material exists in Spanish, Portuguese, German, French, Italian and Russian. Read the version you think in. Wanting the whole thing in your own tongue is not a failure of courage; it is a sensible way to pray.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I receive spiritual direction in English if I live abroad?

Yes. Direction is not tied to a parish or a country, and most directors now meet by video call. What matters is that the person is trained, is supervised, and is not your friend or your relative. Where you sit while the call happens is irrelevant.

My English is not perfect. Will a director still understand me?

Yes, and you will understand them. Direction moves slowly and repeats itself. You need enough English to describe a situation and to say you do not know or did not understand, which is most of what a session is made of. Write three lines before the call and read them if you freeze.

Is it better to have direction in English or in my own language?

Your own language is usually better when you can find a trained director who speaks it, because you are more exact when you are tired or ashamed. English is better than no direction at all, and better than a director who does not listen. Many people move between the two over the years.

How much does an online session in English cost?

Trained lay directors commonly charge between forty and ninety dollars for an hour, sometimes less outside the United States and Western Europe. Priests and religious usually ask for nothing or a free will offering. Ask about the fee in your first email so it never becomes awkward.

Do I have to live in an English-speaking country to book a session?

No. The call goes wherever you are, provided the time works on both ends and the connection holds. Directors who work online already keep odd hours for exactly this reason, so offer two or three windows in your own time zone and let them pick.